Nice Girls Do it!

Me: I just saw Abhimaan (1973) and I was surprised at how much I liked the movie --it would make a great remake now that everything old is new again. The movie felt fresh and didn't overstay its welcome. And there were three very funny scenes where Jaya( after the wedding of course) shows up at her husband's bedside and gives him the international "Give Me Big Indian Penis Now" look of desperation.  I recognized the look because I've seen the same zonked out GoD Am I Ever Going to Get It expression on my own face and some of my not so popular girlfriends. On screen, Jaya briefly pretends to resist so she doesn't come off as slutty and then quickly shimmies out of frame without bending at the knees ( I had no idea she was so flexible). The what me? expression on her face told me all I needed to know    --she was about to give her man "the gift." I don't know what he did to deserve the Blow Job. It was the 70's and people weren't giving them away like today where the BJ has replaced the handshake and the getting to know you butt sniff.  On screen, Jaya and Amit do their jobs too well and craft a rosy picture of married life that promises wall to wall sex at all hours of the day. Back when the movie opened, couples probably ran out of the theatre ripping at each other's clothes. And who knows how many reluctant young people gave into their scheming parents and got married just for the family approved sex that was the focus of the film. The movie actually had the nerve to make marriage the ultimate sexual fantasy, not the stuff the rest of the world had graduated to like pre-approved rapes and fisting (for the truly bored). Propaganda or not, Jaya's BJ ends with her head stuck in a huge patch of Amit B's chest hairs and a last call at the whore house grope that was hysterical but oddly sexxxy for a G-rated family flick. 

  Judy: Gee thanks, I'll put it on my Netflix, right behind Throw Mama From The Train. You know how I can't take a movie seriously if Jacqueline Bisset is not in it. The Deep, Rich and Famous, and Class, --now those aren't just movies, they're films. If I kick the bucket and Lifetime wants to make my life story, promise me that only Jacqueline Bisset gets to play me in the movie, and please, ---no Barbara Hershey, no matter now much "Boxcar Bertha" begs. That dried up old Naveen Andrews' dating cougar can forget it."